The Great Hotdog Roll Crisis Of 1975 ...

I feel it my duty to warn all Olympians everywhere that China has a few problems. High on the list: A historic lack of respect for that singular culinary delight of Costco trips and baseball games and awkward church gatherings. I thank All the Best, George Bush by George H.W. Bush for illuminating this problem ...

Department of State Telegram
The Great Hotdog Roll Crisis

June 27, 1975

1. There is not a hotdog roll to be found in China. Is there any way you could ship us 700 hotdog rolls for delivery prior to July 4?
2. We also need 100 large bags of potato chips in same shipment.
3. Please advise soonest.

Bush

I did not make that up. Really. But I have new appreciation for 41 ...

To Whom It May Concern ...

Dear All Boys I Once Dated,

Hello. I hope your life is good. Yes, my life is good, too, thank you very much. (Although I would say that even if I had just learned that I was allergic to ice cream, that my goldfish had died, and that my DVD of Anne of Avonlea had disappeared. So that was a waste of words. But necessary, per social protocol.) And now, a friendly reminder: Do not ever, under any circumstances, send me a Facebook invitation to your wedding reception. Either spend the 42 cents to send me an announcement in the mail like you do for your actual friends or just continue pretending that I have fallen off the planet and do nothing at all. Obviously our current state of contact will determine whether you take the first or second option. I trust your judgment here. Actually, no I do not. So I will spell it out for you. If we have had a conversation that consisted of more than, "My life is good, how's yours?" in the last six months, send me an announcement. (I will not actually attend your reception, so stop worrying about an awkward encounter.) If we have e-mailed within a year, you can decide for yourself. Longer than that, keep your 42 cents. And yes, even without you notifying me, I will promptly hear about your upcoming nuptials through our mutual friends, and I will be genuinely excited for you. I will consider it a victory for single people everywhere, just like I do every Sunday during our Relief Society moments when we share our good news and announce the latest diamond acquisitions. Well, I guess that covers it.
Thank you for reading. And thank you for dating me back in the day. That was nice of you.

Sincerely,

C.

So, I obviously ate three cupcakes for breakfast today at about the same time as I checked my Facebook account. And we see the results. But let me note that while I generally avoid posts that target a particular category of people, I feel perfectly justified in this exception. I actually know the exact number of people who could be personally offended by this post, and out of those people, the ones who are engaged and thus possible culprits for my biting wit should really have something better to do than read my blog. Actually, everyone I know should really have something better to do than read my blog ...

Look At That Outfit ...

In the past two days I have visited three different libraries in search of various books. My trips across the city, the first in heels and the next two in flip-flops, did not come without painful consequences. But my five blisters were worth it for what I saw on the street on the last of my adventures: A little old lady (think the oldest of the Golden Girls) stopping, parking her walker and staring at the display window at Victoria's Secret (words we never thought would appear on this blog) then pointing at the scantily clad mannequin and saying, "Wow! Look at that outfit!" (The inflection on the "wow," for the record, seemed much more surprised and admiring than shocked and disdainful.) I considered the amount of purple lace barely enough to constitute underwear, much less an outfit, but I laughed about the encounter all afternoon ...

Today ...

Uncle Sam at the parade on the Mall ...

The scene of the action ...

The view from where I stood ... and distributed thousands of drinks ...

Look really closely and you will see POTUS and FLOTUS on their balcony ...

The crowd, enjoying the show ...

Today I sang happy birthday to the president. In person. At his house. Today I watched the former attorney general watch a jump-roping dog. (Yes, dogs can evidently jump rope.) Today I saw the same fireworks and listened to the same songs as the president, the vice president, and the first lady. Today I did not care (well, not much at least) that I stood outside in the rain, sans umbrella, with dripping hair, wearing a much-too-big red t-shirt that turned my white shorts pink. Today I walked so fast to the Metro and made it home so (relatively) quickly that it almost seemed like I just clicked my red Dorothy shoes. Almost. Today was a good day ...

Independence Day ...

IN CONGRESS, July 4, 1776.

The unanimous Declaration of the thirteen united States of America,

When in the Course of human events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another, and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature's God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.--That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, --That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn, that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security.--Such has been the patient sufferance of these Colonies; and such is now the necessity which constrains them to alter their former Systems of Government. The history of the present King of Great Britain is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of an absolute Tyranny over these States. To prove this, let Facts be submitted to a candid world. ...

~ The Declaration of Independence

Yesterday and Tomorrow ...

Yesterday:

Tomorrow:

“The only birth-day I ever celebrate is the fourth of July, the birthday of our country’s liberty.”
~ President Thomas Jefferson once told someone who asked him about his birthday.

I must say, while I really love the Fourth of July ... I really love my birthday, too. And I find it in no way a conflict of interest to happily celebrate both ... although maybe that changes when a person becomes president. Luckily, our current president celebrates his birthday just two days after Independence Day, so he can combine events and really celebrate in style ...