Ode To My Profs ...

This first episode of law school brought to us by the letters M, B, B and B. (Yes, in honor of what felt like the last day of elementary school, when the teacher congratulates you for finishing while telling you how to survive the more difficult junior high tasks to come, I am reverting to the Sesame Street days.)

As of 2:35 p.m. today, I have officially finished one entire semester of law school classes. (Just the actual classes, mind you. I still have to take the finals.) But before I start studying all day every day and definitely before I start taking the actual finals (a frightening event set to begin next Wednesday at 2 p.m.) I pay tribute to those professors who made it all possible. (I also think I better write the nice words now, since as soon as the previously mentioned tasks begin to occur I will most certainly rethink this.)

For the last day of class, each professor had an inspiring speech prepared (and delivered in each case with great flair, as I am sure the law school professor manual suggests). One Prof. B told us to consider becoming personal injury attorneys. Another suggested becoming public defenders. But the real news of the day came during our last class, taught by my favorite, Prof. M. After telling us about the final exam, he told us he had been called to active duty. We all just stared at him. He quickly clarified that he would be on active duty in Virginia, as a military judge, and would still be our professor. We breathed a community sigh of relief.

Moral of the story: I really, really liked Profs. B, B, B and M. I liked that they gave us speeches about doing good along with doing well, and that they volunteered to be our mentors. I am quite confident that I will not like any of them one week from tonight, but for now, thanks ...

Shameless Product Placement ...

I really, really love this. It smells like Christmas. If you find yourself in the Atlanta airport, do not make the same mistake I did. Stop worrying about possible spillage and BUY IT!

In other shopping news, my local Costco made the NYT today. Thanks to this article, I will now pay much closer attention to my fellow shoppers ...

A Happy Thanksgiving ...

So, my parents and I splurged (to put it mildly, thanks Mom and Dad!) on a plane ticket home for Thanksgiving. (At expensive times like these it helps if I think about my life as a credit card commercial.) Anyway, I had a fabulous (dare I say "priceless") time with the family. In three short days I surprised my brother and sister, saw "Enchanted" (and loved it, though perhaps not as much as my Dad ...), watched "Miracle on 34th Street" (the new version) and realized that lawyers do Very Important Things like defending Santa Claus, shopped at the outlets (with the entire family, quite an entertaining treat for the other shoppers, I assure you), bought desperately needed new footwear (comfy brown shoes and not-as-comfy black boots), ate a delicious dinner with my extended family (thanks, Aunt J!), and played games (with a bonus of watching Nana bowl on the Nintendo Wii). I loved being home! Luckily, I also love it here ... when I walked into my apartment building toting my too-large red suitcase, one of the Old Men With Walkers who hang out in the lobby (a story for another post I think) greeted me with a friendly "Welcome Home!" And now, I should greet my not-so-friendly (and far too unfamiliar) class outlines ...

Should Be Studying ...

... But I am Googling instead. A really, really bad habit. And on the topic of Google, I must say I find the ads on my Gmail screen really creepy. They all too frequently relate to something I have discussed in an e-mail, so obviously someone (or more likely, something) reads my PRIVATE correspondence and assumes I am a brainless consumer who will buy something simply because it appears to be tailored to my needs. Then why, on a page of ads about D.C., candy, and LDS singles, did I see one for gastric bypass surgery?! Sorry, but I am not considering such a process, and a measly ad really won't change my mind about that ...

Equality In Toilets ...

Today one Prof. B told our class about a possible new lawsuit he has concocted. The man takes partial credit for suing Big Tobacco and McDonald's, among many, many others, so imagine our interest in learning about this new scheme: suing the law school over restroom inequality. I am impressed that he recognizes that women must suffer the agony (only an exaggeration sometimes) of waiting in much longer lines to use the facilities. But really. A lawsuit about this? He proposes making men's bathrooms at school unisex so men, women and transgendered people can all use them. He asked us about our bathroom preferences and ideas for 30 minutes after class. (Use your imagination here people.) Definitely a discussion I did not expect when I signed up for law school ...

For more on equality, read this interesting article in the NYT. I especially like the headline ...

The Curse Of The Missing Card ...

I had a depressing few days, with a slew of minor mishaps that contributed to my foul mood. It all began when I decided to fix my printer on Friday night. For the last few weeks, it would scan but not print. I tested this very trait by scanning my Metro card. The scan worked, and you can see it here in all its glory, but the printer still would not print. So I called the Dell people (really, we should be on a first-name basis by now), they solved the problem, and I promptly forgot about the Metro card still on the scanner. The next morning, I frantically rushed around looking for the card. I finally left my apartment without my card and by then in a horrible mood that would only get worse. (So bad that even retail therapy did not cure it.) Well, tonight I decided that my bad luck must end. I vowed not to stop searching until I found my card. And find it I did. Right on my scanner where I left it. I have never been so happy to see a piece of plastic ...

Now, for more good news, actually, for much better news, read this happy article. It could be partly due to my new post-curse, Zen-like state, but I nearly cried while reading it. And that does not happen often ... well, apart from last weekend, I mean ...

Law School Math ...

My previous complaining about indecipherable cases now seems premature, as the law school gods (a.k.a. my professors) recently assigned a case obviously directed towards those of us who regularly check People.com.

In Parker v. Twentieth Century-Fox, Shirley MacLaine sued the movie studio for not paying her for a role she never actually had to perform because the studio cancelled the movie. (I am sure she really needed that money, too.) The judges kindly acquiesced to her request (yes, in keeping with my theme, I did steal that line from a movie, but luckily those script writers so worried about copyright violation have other concerns this week) and awarded her both money and this little ego-inflating nugget in their opinion: "The female lead as a dramatic actress in a western style motion picture can by no stretch of imagination be considered the equivalent of or substantially similar to the lead in a song-and-dance production." Oh, the important matters of justice.

I should also note that dear Prof. M, who brings us the aforementioned legal entertainment, also brings us law school math. My People.com skills once again proved helpful in deciphering this equation from a case we discussed in class today:

[promised nose - old nose] + [old nose - disfigured nose] - doctor's fees = damages

Now this shows how law school should really be. Disfigured noses and celebrity gossip. And math with no numbers involved ...

The More Things Change ...

... The more they stay the same. I move 2,000 miles away, stop working at a very conservative bank and start attending a very liberal school, where I could theoretically form an entirely new identity and join student groups ranging from the Chinese Language Group to Law Students for Reproductive Justice. (OK, maybe I would need to do a bit of studying before attending the Chinese Language Group. Actually, I'd need to do a bit of studying about reproductive justice, too. And I'd probably feel more comfortable speaking in Chinese than conversing about the latter.) Anyway, what do I choose to do? The law school newspaper. The same newspaper I had previously vowed not to read, let alone work for. Now I not only read it, but I design it. You would think I would have learned my lesson by now ...

Now, back to foreign languages. The cases I read sound increasingly foreign to me, which worries me with finals looming just one month away. Take United States v. Peterson, for example: "Hinged on the exigencies of self-preservation, the doctrine of homicidal self-defense emerges from the body of the criminal law as a limited though important exception to the legal outlawry of the arena of self-help in the settlement of potentially fatal personal conflicts."

I think I need to use more words like "outlawry" and "potentially fatal personal conflicts" in my writing ...

This Week ...

So I am watching "Little Women" for the third time this week, and thinking of my sister at home celebrating her birthday without me. (I do homework while I watch ... I am not completely lazy.) Anyway, all these years later, I still love Jo March. And after all these years, I finally approve of her marrying Prof. Baer. Does this mean I am growing up?

And as promised, the photos from last week at this time (well, technically not at this time, with the time change today) ...

Outside the entrance to the West Wing. (You "West Wing" fans should recognize the scene.)

Me in the press room, channeling my inner C.J. (Again, for you "West Wing" fans.)

Outside in the Rose Garden, with the Oval Office in the background. A few minutes before this photo, the president's dog scampered right past this area.

The two C's, outside the staff entrance to the West Wing ...