Early in the morning ...

Dear Professor Whose Last Name I Do Not Even Know,

Thank you. This morning, just one hour ago, you proved my parents right in a decades-long assertion I have long denied: I am not that nice in the morning. You might wonder how you managed such a feat. I will tell you. First, you required me to attend your class at 7:45 a.m. This means I left my house at 7:15 a.m. I am a student, not a responsible adult, and I should not be leaving my house at such an hour. Next, when I arrived at said class, you proceeded to instruct me about the passive voice. I learned about passive voice in the ninth grade. That would be more than a decade of me knowing how to avoid passive voice. Then, it got worse. You talked about the difference between affect and effect and that and which and statute and statue. I am pretty sure I mastered that a while ago, too. Then, after all of this, you asked me to fill out a course evaluation. Which I did. I answered honestly. And I discovered that I really am mean in the morning. But when you read that I find your class basically useless, keep looking to see where I gave you really high marks for enthusiasm. Because I did. I understand that you do not choose the inane topics for our class, and I blame the school completely. And if the evaluation had another comments section, I would report that you have really adorable clothing, too, and I find it miraculous that you can look so put together at such an early hour ...